23 years old widow

Let me tell you a story.

Let's take a leap in time.It's the beauty of stories,you get to travel space-time without leaving the surroundings that are warm and familiar.

1925,East British-India. (You are welcome to imagine this in Black & White)
Majumder,just your average farmer,died,leaving behind his 23 year old wife and two sons.One of his sons wasn't even old enough to know what death was,and another son was merely 10 years old.The villagers,motivated by their utmost concern for them(insert sarcastic tone),suggested the 23 year old widow to put her elder son into the farm.His father was a farmer,why should he be anything different,right?The widow wiped her tears with her saree and said,"No,I want my son to continue going to school."

If you have any idea what South Asian villages are like,you would know that you CANNOT take a decision without having all the elder people giving you their wisdom.And if you are a woman,especially a widow,you cannot take any decision at all.

But that widow took her decision,and despite the society taunting her for it,she sent her sons to school.Her elder son,however,was a naughty one.He always managed to get himself in trouble,didn't do good in school,and all the other things disobedient kids do(which I wouldn't know,of course). Mrs.Majumder's elder son's actions were causing many disputes in the village,and she would get complains often.The villagers kept suggesting putting him in farming instead of school.The villagers were big with their wisdom,but when it came to helping the widow financially,no one offered a penny.Mrs.Majumder,who was uneducated herself,sold her lands in order to survive and keep her sons in school.Years past.Her elder son took the 10th grade exam,and he failed.No surprise in there.But her son ran away fearing that his mother would beat him.He decided to come back after a few months in Kolkata,India and he took the exam again.The second time,he passed.He was the first person from that village to have passed that exam.He was my grandfather.

My grandfather failed the 10th grade exam.He ran away from home,by home I mean Feni,Bangladesh and went to Kolkata,India.Where did you think I get the badass in me from?It was 1930 when my grandfather decided to come back and re-take the exam(called Metric exam back then). This was 17 years before the British left the sub-continent and India and Pakistan was born.Bangladesh doesn't appear in the scene until 1971,it was just referred as "East British India" back then(before 1947).

After my grandfather passed the exam,he went to Kolkata and got a job in the railway.He came back to Bangladesh(referred as East Pakistan)after 1947.He spent his whole life working for the railway,from 9 to 5. My grandfather,he didn't go past 10th grade.But you can't imagine how grateful I am to my great grandmother for sending my grandfather to school.

Everything I am today,I owe this to that 23 years old widow,who didn't give up,who didn't bow to society.Who realized the value of education,despite being uneducated herself.She'd never have any idea that her sole decision to be stubborn had a ripple affect which has changed lives,in the best way possible.

If my grandfather didn't go to school,he would remain a farmer,oblivious of the power of education.He wouldn't work day and night to send my father and his siblings to school.He wouldn't send my uncle to study here in America.He wouldn't apply for my family's immigration.If my grandfather didn't go to school,I wouldn't be here.I wouldn't be here writing this blog,I wouldn't be here loving Math and Science,I wouldn't be here knowing how education can change your life.I wouldn't be me,the girl who loves reading.

So this post is to the strongest woman ever,the woman I have never met--my great grandmother.Thanks for the fight you put up,thanks for realizing the value of education,thanks for sending grandfather to school.

I owe you one.

-Mourin

"Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the world."-Nelson Mandela

Speaking 3 Languages..and counting

Not bragging or anything(maybe I am),but I speak 3 languages-Bengali,Hindi and English.And I love speaking 3 languages.I am learning Spanish currently,and I can't wait to be fluent in it!

I genuinely love speaking multiple languages,because I feel like every language has an unique beauty,which belongs to that language and that specific language only. I have tried translating one language to another,and somehow it just loses all of its magic in the process.This is true for all the languages I speak,and something makes me think it is true for all the languages that exist.

Aside from these 3 languages,I speak more or less fluent Urdu(I didn't count it in because it's pretty similar to Hindi) and also I understand Marathi and some other Indian languages.Again,not bragging,I only understand these languages as they all have the same mother language,Sankskreet. All credit goes to my Bengali Grammar teacher who made me learn Sankskreet roots.Kudos!

I am going to sound horrible obnoxious now,but I sometimes feel bad for people who don't speak Bengali.Which is like,the world population-211 million people,but still.This might sound odd,I am a 16 year old teenager and I listen to songs which were literally written more than 100 years ago.Yes,Ladies and Gentlemen I am talking about Rabindranath Tagore. Don't get me wrong,most of my generation thinks it's uncool to listen to Tagore,but I can't help it.My mother and grandmother have taught me how to love Bengali literature,and this love for literature always brings me back to Tagore.If you are confused,let me tell you,Tagore was a writer and a musician and a poet and lots of other things.So anyways,I remember I used to think everyone understood Tagore as he got Nobel Prize and everything then one day I realized "Wait,everyone doesn't speak Bengali."And I instantly felt so bad.You don't know what you are missing out on if you don't listen or read Tagore.I know this sounds obnoxious,that every language has its great literature and music,but every language doesn't have Tagore,who is known as the Universal Poet.And of course Bengali is my mother language,of course I am biased. 

Let's talk about English.It is my 2nd language(or 3rd,Idk).Let's all accept the fact that English needs more alphabets.26 letters ain't cutting it Bruuh. Like literally,no one can pronounce(whose first language is English) the "dha" sound.They either say "da" or "tha".We literally have different alphabets in Bengali for those sounds.

Okay I am probably offending all the English language speakers now,I am sorry.English is a beautiful language.Speaking English makes travelling in the world so much easier.Thanks to the Brits for occupying most of the world for hundreds of years,almost everyone knows the littlest bit of English.But being the most known language(note: I didn't say most spoken) doesn't make English dull.I am pretty okay in English despite it being my second language,and the ways you can play with this language is just fascinating.When you actually start digging into a novel in an analytically,you know the thing English teachers make you do in High School,you realize how diverse and beautiful the language actually is.And sometimes I am more comfortable with communicating in English(even when the other person speaks Bengali) because I feel like it is a good language to use if you want to speak the truth and don't wanna offend anyone.

Lastly,Hindi.Oh India,your catchy bollywood songs made me fluent in Hindi without even having any official lessons.Hindi is an awesome language,especially for songs.Everything just seems to rhyme and make beautiful music.I can't really read Hindi,so I can't say anything about the literature.But Hindi is a great language to learn if you want to get a taste of India and also enjoy wanna enjoy dialogues like "Senorita,bare bare shahro main choti choti bate,hoti rehte hai.".(Did you know in Obama's recent visit to India,he tried to quote this dialogue?Keyword:TRIED.)

Every language is beautiful in its own way.I really recommend learning another language if you have some time to spare,learn another language.Just start by listening to a random song or watching a movie.Trust me,you will never regret it.

"Give me some sunshine,give some rain

Give me another chance I wanna grow up once again."

-Mourin

Devastatingly Beautiful

I feel like it is the perfect time for me to dress up in Elsa costume and sing Let it go to the massive pile of snow in my driveway,maybe then it will move. Spoken like a true New Englandner,eh? Seriously tho, it has been snowing for over 24 hours now,the historic blizzard is on full swing. It is not supposed to stop till 1 am today,the roads are blocked,thousands flights are canceled and I'm lovin' it. Not because of the two snow days,but because I'm getting to feel raw nature after so long,and nature,like pain,demands to be felt.

Ever since I have come to 'Murica I feel like I have stayed away from raw nature for a long time. Don't get me wrong,it's not like there are no trees or whatever,but it just feels artificial to me. Like everything is planned,thought out.Nature isn't something that should be planned,it isn't something to be tamed,it is something to be left on it's own,to run wild. And we humans are yet to learn that.

I have said enough times how much I miss the rain of Bangladesh. One of the many reasons I love the rain of Bangladesh because it is so reckless. It would cause power outage, blocked roads and basically it would leave you helpless. I remember one time it rained for 5 days constantly,and everything just came to a complete stop. Only then did I realize,no matter how technological advances we get,we are helpless in front of nature.And there is a certain kind of beauty in that.

When I was 12,we went to a place called Rangamati in Bangladesh for vacation. It is basically a mountain-y place,with lots of mountains towering over. I remember standing in front of a 70 foot drop,and I was scared to death but I couldn't move from that place.It was so beautiful,that you just calls you closer,even when you know that a couple more steps and you are gone.Standing in front of that 70 foot drop,my 12 year old self finally understood the meaning of "devastatingly beautiful." I love speaking 3 languages you see,and in Bengali "devastatingly beautiful" doesn't sound nearly as lame as it does in English. But you get the idea.

Nature is scary and beautiful at the same time.It has always been.That's what that draws us to it. Sometimes we think we are too cool for nature and try to control it in our way,and you see the result for yourself-global warming,green house effect all those stuff. My point is,we all should just accept the fact we are not so much different than our ancient ancestors who had no protection against nature.They survived because they adapted to nature,not the other way around. All our fancy technology ain't going to do any good when you have a power outage cause of a blizzard or hurricane. Evil? Maybe.But beautiful,too. Only nature has the power to be devastatingly beautiful.

That is so STRAIGHT!

I was volunteering at this ELL program in my school last Wednesday,which is basically helping the families whose first language is not English. Let's be real,I was not volunteering as much as I was taking selfies or preparing for my History quiz (Yes,I was studying,I had 3 quizzes the following day). Anyways,I am at this table,the kids are drawing and coloring some stuff we printed out,and this boy,who cannot be older than 8,points at another kid's painting and goes "That is so GAY." I stared at the boy for a couple of moments then glanced over to see what was so "gay" about that painting,and it turned out to be nothing but a monkey wearing a pink shirt. I was just shocked to hear a kid saying "gay" to insult something. Yes,call me naive,but I was.

Which brings us to the matter that why a 8 year old kid saying gay in order to insult something? Option 1: That kid is a jerk.
Option 2: He has picked up this habit from someone older
If looked at this matter logically,you will probably agree that Option 2 makes more sense.

That being said,we now have a new issue. Why is an older person,who is more mature,using the word gay to insult something/someone? Let's forget that person,before we accuse someone of something we should look at ourselves. How many times do we say "That is so gay" to insult something? I have heard people doing it,and I myself is guilty of doing it in my not-so-mature teen years. As I grew up,I looked at myself and thought "Wow I am so stupid." and then I stopped saying that phrase. We always talk about changes in the society,but we do not understand the fact that society will not change if the change is done from the very root. Like,stop using that stupid phrase. Accepting homosexuals and gay-rights is a big thing now,and it will not be achieved until we change our little habits. Yes,this may sound very lame,but huge changes do begin from a shift in the mindset. And what we say/do reflect our mindset. Gay rights will not be properly established until we stop using the word gay(which actually means Happy,if you didn't know) to insult,female rights will not be achieved until we start going to the girls basketball game. It might be hard for some of you to understand why I am repeating the fact that we have to stop saying gay to insult someone,but let me tell you,I have met countless males who would not wear a pink shirt cause it makes them look gay. How ridiculous is this? Just like how wearing yellow doesn't say what kind of pizza do you prefer,wearing pink doesn't say anything about your sexuality. We live in a society where we are trying to establish gay rights,while simultaneously refusing to wear pink because it is a "gay color." The last time I checked,there was no color for "sorry I don't do hypocrites" cause if there was,I would be wearing that color every.single.day.

Coming back to that kid,he didn't have any fault. He has obviously learned the phrase from someone else and used it to prove his worth. But what about that person whom he learned it from? He is probably an adult and has the ability to think logically. That kid,he represents the future. And if that is the future,I am not sure if I want to see it. And that adult,he is the present. And it disgusts me. I am not even going to talk about the fact that you do not have a say in another person's sexuality and life,I am just saying, we need to stop using the word gay to insult somebody. Because I am sure I have never heard anyone saying "That is so STRAIGHT". Why this discrimination? All this gay rights people are talking about,they will do nothing,until we change our mindsets. Until we change ourselves.

Am I right or am I left?*

-Mourin

*(Just had to throw in that pun right there,I feel I have let my anger control my writing too much)

If not now,when?

I'm quite a mess when people ask me if I'm a feminist or not. Part of me wants to BURN them(not literally,sarcastically) for asking such a stupid question, part of me wants to sit down and talk about life of them and part of me just wants to say "Obviously" in Severus Snape's voice. I don't know about others,but I just don't see the reason for NOT being a feminist.

Feminism,by definition, means equality of the genders. It does not mean considering women to be superior than Men, nor does it mean to interpret men as some blood sucking demons(I mean, hating them). Feminism simply means equality of the genders,and nothing else. Personally,I do not like the name "feminism".It implies that it has something to do with solely Women,like it's about worshiping Women and disdaining Men,while it clearly is not. Of course much of the inequality affects Women,it does not mean that Men are in heaven or something.The society has come limiting factors for them too.

My view is that,our life should not be decided by one single chromosome. We should be able to do and think whatever we want,regardless of our X & Y chromosomes. 

I am just going to mention some "small" issues today,which in fact,do not seem very small to me. You know,in Disney movies,how the Princesses marry the Princes that save them? It's all very romantic and rainbows and sparkles,but before we even think about why a Woman would marry a Man she just met, why does ALWAYS a Prince save the Princess? Why does she need to be "saved"? It plants a seed in little girl's brains,which results in a humungus tree,and I tell you,that tree ain't doing anything to reduce Global Warming. Forgive my dark sense of humor,but there is no better way to put it. It just pisses me off so much,seeing that Disney is making all the girls think that there will be Prince Charming to save them. As much as people would like to believe it,this is NOT true. Believe me, I have seen many grown-up Women,waiting for their Husbands/Boyfriends to solve problems. It's almost like,they do not even BELIEVE that they can do it. Let me tell you something,if you want equal rights,you have to put in equal amount of efforts,lady. That might sound harsh,but I am not about Sugarcoating,for Diabetics is a filthy disease. The point is,Disney needs to change.The media needs to change. Instead of picturing girls as beautiful,vulnerable Princesses, picture them as beautiful,strong Warriors. We need more Elsa-s, more Hermione-s, to inspire our girls. 

So when we are talking about Gender equality, it's quite hypocritical to leave the other gender behind. As I said,we cannot assume Men have it easy (though they kinda do,but still). SO,in our society,since their early childhood,boys are taught not to cry. "Aren't you a strong man? Of course you are. And let me tell you, strong Men do not cry." I mean,have you heard anything RIDICULOUS than this? And yet,all boys at some point of their lives are told this,directly or indirectly. I just do not get the logic behind this. Men maybe physically stronger than Women, but does that make them invincible? It does NOT. How do you expect a person to survive without letting some of their pain,their anger out? Is it even humane? And why is it okay for Women to cry? Because they are weak? I am speaking from personal experience, I have met far more stronger Women than Men (not a generalization, just experience)

So,what's my point? My point is to make people realize when they make that face when they hear the word feminism is just WRONG. How can you not want gender equality? Seriously,if you are not a feminist,you need to look at yourself in the mirror and explain "Why not." And like Emma Watson said, "If not now,when? If not me,who?" But we should not just promote #HeForShe,but also #SheForHe because,well,Y chromosomes and testosterone is not always going to be enough.

If my mere try made you even think about this issue for a minute,I would consider myself successful. It is high time you thought about this. "If not now,when?"

-Mourin