Year of Rewrites

I am gonna go all cliche and talk about the year that is about to end. I know it is very overrated, but when you look back on New Years Eve, you realize the person who woke up on New Year's day and the person who is looking forward to another brand new years is different. The difference could be all most negligible, the difference could make all the difference (see what I did there?),but it is there, hanging in the chilly December air,waiting to be acknowledged. It's funny how much life could change while our beautiful little planet completes one rotation around it's very average star. One year is not even close to a fraction is cosmic time,but enough to rewrite our live

I remember waking up on January 1, 2014 thinking "Wow,I'm leaving Bangladesh this year. But I still have 7 months left." The next thing you know, I'm on the plane,leaving Bangladesh forever. I feel like I have talked about this a lot, but it never seems enough. Moving halfway across the world was obviously the star event of the year,but lots of other things happened to. I had lots of changes to cop with,lots of sacrifices to make, this year has been a year of sacrifices. You know,the typical American Dream. It sounds really crappy,but you know, I chose this. Chose to make the sacrifices,chose to rewrite my life in the mere hope that it would help me in the long run,that I would be one step closer to achieve what I want in my life. 2014,the year I chose to grow up. And the biggest lesson of this year, achieving your dreams come with a big price. The price sometimes seems like bigger than what you get in return. But then you remember who you want to be,and you realize the sacrifices are a part of becoming that person.

That being said,let's hope 2015 brings me closer to my dreams and you to closer to yours. At the end, all we can do is work hard and hope.
Let's hope I survive the dreaded Junior year.
Happy New Year.
-Mourin

Excellence Without Arrogance

I just found out about this whole MBTI thingy, which basically categorizes all humans in 16 different personalities based on 4 traits. While it is kind of impossible to categorize the whole human race in only 16 groups, the result I got describes me an awful lot. This test described lots of things about me which I knew were there,but never really looked into it. I think everyone should take a look at it (I have been bothering my friends lately,telling them to take the test). SO,here you go,I'll just give the link to whoever interested in finding about themselves a little more.

Click here for the test yo

Okay,now y'all know what I am gonna do. I'm gonna bore you with my personality for a while. You can skip to the next paragraph if you want,but I don't really recommend that. Cos I'm fab. Hehe.

So,I am an INTJ. Which is, Introvert, Intuitive, Thinking & Judging (BTW,this Judging is different from Judgmental,just sayin'). Apparently this is the Second most rare personalities(The other is INFJ,rarest in Men), and the most rare personality in Women. Can we just have a round of applause for the me? Of course we can.

INTJs are the most strategic,and are also known as The Mastermind(That's me,hue). There are loads of other awesome stuff about us,but let's talk about something else. You would probably better understand INTJs if I mentioned some of the fictional INTJs which include Greogory House from House M.D (gotta love that guy), Walter White from Breaking Bad( such a badass,that guy), Jim Moriarty from Sherlock Holmes (did someone say the greatest villain of all time?). Notice a pattern here? While all these guys are awesome,they suffer from EAS,aka Extreme Arrogance Syndrome (okay,I just made that up). Also apparently every internet page which describes INTJs, never forget to mention the fact that INTJs are arrogant. In other words, I am an arrogant piece of crap.

As my friend Johny would say, I have a counterargument.

I,for myself,think that no human being has anything to be arrogant about. I mean,look at us. We are so small,so insignificant,we have loads to be proud of for sure,but nothing to be arrogant about. Just check this Video out, and you will see. We do not know anything really,the little knowledge we have goes back to the last century and so,and I don't see the point in being arrogant about that. Being proud of yourself is one thing,treating people like crap and making them miserable just because you think you are better than everyone else is something totally different. And totally wrong.I mean did you even see the video? We have to pretty damn arrogant to call ourselves the only high intellect species compared to what could be out there.

Let's just talk about Greg House,okay? I mean that guy is awesome,got some serious talent but he is arrogant as crap. I mean,I love him and all but he seriously gets on my nerves sometimes. He is not necesarily a horrible human being,but he is horrible to people. And he is just miserable,really. I feel sorry for him (Calm down Mourin,he is fictional.) And let's just say starting to make meth( cook crystal) when you find out you have cancer is NOT logical,I don't understand why an INTJ would do that. (Maybe it just provides a really awesome plot,but still).

As an INTJ(or just a human), I have some arrogance in myself,I wouldn't lie. But I keep it to myself most of the time,unless I'm being sarcastic ( Apparently,that's an INTJ thing too). I was taught to be humble,by my family,my culture,my religion and my conscience. I think modesty is one of the best quality a person can have as a human being. I think,people who have thorough knowledge of their abilities and knowledge are not arrogant at all,because they know there is so much more they can do, even if they are the best in what they do. "Excellence without arrogance is the best kind of excellence"-(A fellow INTJ from a group,idk if he quoted someone or not,I am sorry). Don't get me wrong,I am not saying you should be humble because then people will like you. I am anything but a people pleaser. You should be humble because that makes a better learner, a better forgiver, and overall,a better human being. And I think that's what we all should aim for. After all,there is nothing more pathetic than arrogant ignorant little us.

-Mourin

Happy Holy-days

So Christmas is here,so are candy canes,Christmas lights, trees and other Christmas decorations. This is all fairly new to me,mind you,I believed Santa was real until I was 13 and I didn't know enough Christians to tell me that he is some made up funny old man. At this time we had Winter break in Bangladesh, and with like 3% Christians, I never saw Christmas decorations and stuff before. And now I am just absolutely fascinated by them. Seriously though,Christmas lights are beautiful. I was talking to my friend who is Jewish,and we were basically whining about how we both wanted Christmas decorations and our parents wouldn't let us buy them. Y u do dis parents ;-;

On that note though, to all those people who thinks Christmas decorations are only for Christians, just think this through. Christmas lights or trees are not even related to Jesus or what Christians believe. It's just a western tradition through which certain companies make money. And so far,it's been working pretty well for them. I am sorry if it offends anyone,but I had to mention this cause I have been seeing posts related to this on Facebook,and it just pisses me off when my fellow Muslims say we can't wish Christmas to our Christians friends. I mean,get a life. Just because our beliefs are different,doesn't mean we cannot share the joy of this season.

I can understand why would people act like this. Just last week,we had people going around singing Christmas songs at our school,and this Jewish kid felt really bad and he ran crying to his Counselor.
I am ashamed of laughing(just a little bit,sorry) when I heard this. I realized later that just because I can adapt more,doesn't mean other people do too. And being part of minority can be frustrating too. But the thing we all need to understand is regardless of our religion, nationality we are the same. Before I am a Muslim or Bangladeshi, I am a human. Religion, Nationality, Ethnicity,these distinctions were created by ourselves. While we are somewhat bound to these, and cannot change who we are, we can certainly work to reduce the tension. There will always be difference between us, but being a human doesn't necessarily mean abolishing all the differences,but understanding and respecting these differences. There is so much more to this world than being caught up on the fact that who gets to buy Christmas trees and who doesn't. And as some smart person who I cant find on the internet once said, "What unites us is greater than what divides us."
If you find who that guy was,please let me know. That guy is awesome.

Until next time then. And Happy Holy-days, no matter what you are celebrating. Whether it is Christmas, Hanukkah (is it over already?) , winter vacations, or just nonstop Netflix.
-Mourin







Happy Holidays! Wishes from ELL group!
Lets name countries : China,China,China, China, Bangladesh, Spain, Korea,China, Israel, Georgia, Japan, Turkey, Russia, Azerbaijan, Brazil and random kid on the floor.

Is it just me or there is too much Asia in this picture? LOL.

A Third World Country

It's 16th December, about 43 years ago, a brand new country was born through a bloody c-section. Okay, I am very bad with metaphors. I mean, a bloody war. It's the country which was referred as the "bottomless basket". It's the country which brings the image of people living below the poverty line, children dying of hunger, high corruption, work conditions similar to those of Industrial Revolution,and just all the other horrible things associated with a third world country. Yes folks, I am talking about Bangladesh, the country I was fortunate enough to be born in. There has never been a day, since I have realized what patriotism is, I haven't felt grateful to be born in the most sacred land there ever was,is and will be.

I'm making this far too much dramatic than I intended. Oh well,I am South-Asian,what do you expect? Haha.

We were discussing Industrial Revolution in our History class the other day, and our teacher asked, "Why do you think the parents agreed to send their kids to the factories, even after knowing the horrible conditions?" So people started giving various answers, and this kid says, "Maybe they didn't care about their kids much." And I'm like, "Watt. You kidding me bruh?" (I didn't say that,obviously) And my teacher is like, "Oh well you bring up an interesting point. Maybe the parents didn't care about their kids the way we do now,specifically American kids. I mean, you could say that..the parents of say...Bangladesh,don't care about their kids like that." And I'm just sitting there in utter amazement. He is my teacher,and I respect him, and I'm sure he just meant to give an example, but that statement was shocking. It literally shook me. I stared at him for a few moments to make sure I'm not hallucinating. Is that the kind of things people think about when I say "I am from Bangladesh"? That my parents can't care less about me, and I was destined to work in a textile mill if I did not move here? Well,crap.

I just have one thing to say about that statement. Money does not affect love, I'd love my parents unconditionally even if they didn't make enough money to survive. I would be filled with bitter feelings about life of course, but that would not affect my love. Just like my country being poor doesn't affect my love. Just like the City I was born in being the 2nd most unsustainable city does not affect my love for it. My love does not depend on some paper pieces, I'm sorry.

You never know how you will miss the smallest things about your country until you leave your country. Not the country as a whole, but you will miss the smallest details you took for granted.

What I miss about Bangladesh?

Crows. My friend sent me a voice message, and I could hear Crows in the background. And I was filled with this zeal which cannot be explained. Crows are annoying as crap,and I miss them. I miss the heat.The humidity. The constant feeling of needing to have a shower. I miss the electricity cuts. The huge window beside my bed through which sun would annoy the Flourine out of me. I miss Azaans( Call for prayers) 5 times a day. I miss the comfort of being surrounded by people who speak Bengali.The time when I didn't have to pay attention to get what people are saying, the time I didn't have to translate my thoughts to another language. No matter how good I am in English, it is not Bengali, it is not the language the college kids died for (If you have no idea what I'm talking about, Google International Mother Language Day). I miss the rain. Not the rain of New England, the rain Tagore wrote songs about. I miss the winter mornings, when the Sun would peek through the fog late, and I would sit in the beautiful sunshine with a mug of tea and Bhapa Pitha (A kind of rice cake,made during the winter). I miss sitting beside my grandma in the kitchen in our ancestral village as she makes breakfast for us in the stove made of clay. And thousands of other things. Just the horrible things associated with a third world country.




Anyways, Happy Independence Day everyone! I guess we all agree on the fact that nothing tastes better than Freedom. Except of course, Bhapa Pitha. LOL.

Until next time then.

-Mourin

From Dial Up to Wifi

YAY. It's my birthday!! About 16 years 1 day ago, I was born with the help of a c-section. So you can understand that I am smart by born because I didn't have any intention of coming out to this crappy world. (JK Trolling). I am not making this post about my birthday anyway, I am not THAT important of a person.

So yesterday, my school's wifi was down for like 2 and a half hour and it literally was a MESS. No attendance taken, no online homework done, no nothing. And when it did return, everyone was so EMOCIONADO (HA! SPANISH 1 BRO). I mean,excited. And I was like, no internet for two hours and we are dying. But the thing is, this whole internet thing didn't start too long ago. I was talking to my friend about the time when we first got our internet connection. She was really surprised when I told her I first got my internet connection around 2008. I know I know it was REALLY late, but the thing is I haven't always lived in America. When we got our internet connection in 2008, it was relatively a new thing in the third world country I come from and love, and we were the first ones to get it. I remember I was in 4th grade, and in the middle of the year some men came to my house and put some wires around the house, and put some more wires outside the house. Granted, it wasn't superfast 50 mbps wifi connection, just an old fashioned dial up connection. The ones which are connected to the telephone and you cannot use the telephone and internet together. It seems like it was a 90s thing in United States, but folks it was JUST 6 years ago. Yuss, I know, unbelievable. I remember my father going to Google and telling me that I can search for anything here. And I also joined the Internet Revolution by looking up Spongebob Squarepants (Like a boss) (or not). I cannot fathom how much it has changed since then. In Bangladesh, thanks to the mobile operators, lots of people have internet. I dont really know about the rural areas though, but in the capital everyone has internet. I know it might sound strange why is that a big deal for me, but imagine, 6 years. And a country of 140 million people. Its fascinating how fast it has spread. In the mere period of 6 years, we have gone from just meeting Google for the first time to not being able to live without it. It is not ALWAYS a good thing, but as an internet addict teenager, who am I to talk?

My friend however, has always been used to internet. She can't really remember when she first got it, probably like 1st or 2nd grade. She wasn't born in the States though, she happens to be from Korea. I think I consider myself fortunate for the fact that I can remember when I first got my internet connection. It is just another reminder of the things we do not appreciate enough. And how life is different as we go around the world. I think somehow I know life more than my peers, and it is not ONLY because I have gone from Dial Up to Cable to Wimax to Wifi. But because I have met so many different kind of people, visited so many different kind of places that my vision is not limited to one horizon. Or it could just be me being obnoxious. Who knows?

P;S:To add to that, I have this fascination with travelling because you see so many different colors of life. One of my life objective is to become a hippie and travel the world. Seriously, you will learn much more than you have learned in 12 years of school.

-Mourin

Our Hamartia

I am a huge fan of Greek mythology, thanks to the Percy Jackson series. This series has made me love the eerie weirdness of Greek mythology. Recently I finished reading Percy Jackson's Greek Gods which covers the basics of Greek mythology. While reading, I noticed something important.

If we look at any religion or traditions, all of them suggest their God is perfect. But, Greek mythology walks the path less taken. All of the Gods have some flaws in them. Greek heroes are known to have something called "Hamartia",their  greatest flaw. All the heroes including Hercules, Jason, Odysseus and also Percy had them. But I would say,the Gods aren't very different either. Zeus has his uncontrollable lust for women (And let's just agree, this fact made up most of the Greek mythology). Hera, the queen herself has her vengeful personality and not to mention Athena, my favorite goddess of Wisdom, has a totally unwise ego. I am not trying to insult the Olympians here, but I'm just saying that now that we know a giant tortoise is not holding the Earth (except maybe it is,who knows?) and the Earth and the Earth is not flat (it looks like it tho), it is safe to assume that Greek Gods do not exist. I think the Greeks pictured the Gods in themselves. They realized that we humans, are not perfect. They figured even the most powerful person have some weaknesses of his own, and the wisest person is not wise all the time. And this gave birth to some of the strangest mythology of all time. Really, if there is anything Greek mythology teaches us is that no one is perfect,and it is okay not to be perfect. Our imperfection makes us who we are, and our Hamartia is part of us.

Two sides of a same coin

I GOT A NEW LAPTOP. Which is ENTIRELY mine. LONG LIVE BLACK FRIDAY!

Anyways, I can bore you with the specification of  my laptop, but I am feeling merciful today,so NO. 

But I had a very interesting conversation with my uncle on the way back home from Best Buy. He asked me about what is my major of choice when I go to college. And me being me, obviously said Astronomy. Because let's face it guys, ASTRONOMY IS AWESOME. Prior to this, we were talking about books, especially fiction books. My uncle being the college professor he is, asked me, "Given your love for fiction and writing, and also something so structured like Astronomy, I don't understand how your brain actually work. Have you ever thought about it?" And I was bewildered for a second. I have never given this much thought. I love Science and Math and I also love fiction and stuff like that. My uncle's point is, Science and Math are structured, in these subjects, something IS or IS NOT. But fiction,well,everything IS and IS NOT at the same time. They are very opposite indeed. So how do I love both of these concept? And where did Astronomy come from?

So I started to think (Oh Mourin). The fact is, I love Science and Math, I love the fact that it is structured, everything has an answer (Other than what happens if you divide something with 0) and it is oddly comforting. It makes me feel safe, somehow. There is so many questions in life that is unanswered, I don't want anymore weird unanswerable questions. They make me feel incapable and useless. I love the power Science and Math gives me, the power to answer.The power of knowing.

And then there is fiction. I know I am going to utterly contradict myself, but I love fiction. I rarely read real life books, because I don't need anymore normal stuff. I mean, normal is boring. I think fiction widens your vision, makes you think the unthinkable, question the unanswerable. And most importantly, it makes you imagine. I think we all agree upon the fact that imagination is beautiful. The early science and mythology was based on the imagination of fertile brains. Without imagination, we would never have Science. And sometimes, you just need fiction. I can't help but quote Rainbow Rowell here.

"Why do we write fiction?"

"To disappear." 

I can't agree with this statement more. Sometimes the real world becomes too much to handle, too real to take in. And you just need to disappear for a while. What can be better than getting lost in a world which could have been, if things turned out differently? What better way to get lost than pick up a book and just jump in a different world? It's like going to a different universe through wormholes. And that's where Astronomy comes in.

If you think about it, Astronomy is the best of both worlds.It has both Science and imagination. You don't know what happens at the other side of a black hole, you don't know what singularity is, you don't know what was there before big bang. There are so many unanswered questions which are related to our very existence. And you can't JUST use science to answer them, you need imagination as well. You have to let your imagination run wild, then use science to prove your point. Giordano Bruno only imagined that we are not in the center of universe, he did not have any scientific proof. But his imagination turned out to be true. It is fascinating, really. How Astronomy combines fiction and science, the two opposites. It is like the two face of a same coin again, just in this case the coin is like soooooooooooooooooooooo huge,it's crazy.

-Mourin

Something to be grateful for

I don't know how to start.
It is snowing.
I repeat, it is snowing.
It might not be as exciting for you as it is for me, but keep in mind I have never seen snow before.
DO YOU WANT TO BUILD A SNOWMAN? (Sorry,couldn't help it, the white things falling from the sky keep distracting me)

SO Thanksgiving break officially started a few hours ago. It is my first time celebrating thanksgiving, though I knew about this holiday I have never given much thought to it. Now that I think about it, this holiday seems important and unnecessary at the same time.Why unnecessary? Because you don't need a specific day to be thankful.Why important? Because we need to realize we take somethings for granted which should not be taken granted for.

What are you thankful for? Most people would say family or friends. I am thankful for my family and friends, thankful for the sleepless nights I have spent with my family just remembering the old days,but this thanksgiving I have a new thing to be grateful for.

This thanksgiving we had this online thing where we put the things I need and some family member will buy them for me. But I had to think like for 20 minutes to decide what I wanted, and it made me realize I don't NEED anything. I might WANT things, but they are just mere luxury. I mean,sure I want an iPhone 6,but do I ACTUALLY need it? No. When we actually think about what we need, it takes us a long time to decide (I mean,what object or stuff). Belonging in the middle class, I think most of our needs are emotional rather than objective. Having to THINK about what we need is something to be grateful for,don't you think?

Let's be thankful for the things we take for granted.

Happy Thanksgiving!

-Mourin

Falling Back Into It

Wooh.
It's been a long time since I spilled all my rumbles here, hasn't it?
Last Published: Aug 20, 2014.
Today's date: November 25,2014

I have been missing for a little over 3 months. Why? I don't know.
I can easily say I was busy, moving halfway across the world I needed time to settle down and stuff blah blah. That would not be lying, I was busy, but that's not the reason for my absence. I could easily write a few lines, but I did not feel like it (most of the time). Why? I don't know. Here is a fun fact about me: emotions do not come to powerfully or all at once, I literally need to sit down and think about what I am feeling and most of the time I am too lazy or too afraid to do it, and the voice behind my head leaves me with a numb feeling. Weird,eh? I know I am. And also I figured out that I have to think about what I feel just a few days ago. Go figure.

Enough.

So, if you didn't know, I moved to United States this August (not that you care, but just sayin'). And as you can guess, my life has changed like the way the world changed during the Industrial Revolution (What? We are doing that in History now,don't blame me. Okay that was a lame reference.) So like, I plan on posting stuff about how it's different here, and also random things that come to my little head.(Because I want to be heard,remember?) Thanksgiving break starts tomorrow after half day school (Seriously? Can we NOT do the half day? I don't wanna wake up at 6;30 for only 3 classes). It is my first time celebrating thanksgiving, and guess how many people are coming over? GUESS. NO SERIOUSLY,GUESS. Okay, 62. Yes.BECAUSE  THAT'S HOW SOUTH EAST ASIANS ROLL. I have no idea how that MANY people are gonna fit in our house,but eh, you don't need a big house to have a(unnecessarily)  big heart,right? Don't tell my parents I said that.

My goals this thanksgiving:
-Blog regularly
-Get better in Maths (HA! As if)
-FINISH BLOOD OF OLYMPUS (Yes, I haven't read it yet,I just got the book today,so NO SPOILERS)

I wish everyone a very happy thanksgiving. Seriously,there is so much to be thankful for.

“And O there are days in this life, worth life and worth death." -Charles Dickens 

Cheers!
-Mourin

'Merica

As you guys know, I have been in America for a while. What you probably don't know, is that I wear hijab/ headscarf Muslim girls wear. I really didn't know what to expect about people's reaction to it, but the uncertainty wasn't enough to stop me from doing what I believe. So anyways, the thing is I haven't had a bad experience yet, and I think its very unlikely. The thing about America, there's every kind of people here. From the most ordinary to the most strange, from Indians to Latins, America is home to everyone. It's so diverse, and I am not even in New York which I suspect the most diverse state. But as I said, there is all kind of people here, and it feels like America is a small version of the world, where every culture go side by side. Its something only America has. And what makes America special is that its not just ONE country. The diversity makes this country great.

Anyways, enough fangirling. Back to the main story. So I was going to the park with my younger cousins and we were coming out of the apartment a very nice gentleman held the door for us. We got into talking and he told me that he has been in the military and has traveled 20 countries. He said he knew about lots of cultures, especially Muslim culture as he has been in the middle east for a while. He said people here don't know why women wear that (pointing at my hijab) that's why some stare. I said I understood that but I really didn't see anyone staring (maybe I'm too ugly,LOL). He said that its not wise to question any religion or culture and I said I agreed. And I actually do agree, I think every religion & culture is beautiful in its very own way. And he was like "You should be in politics" and I was like "Me? Politics? Heh."
Then we LOL'D(is it even correct?)
Anyways, the nice man's name was Thomas, I told him my name and he said I had a beautiful name( my name is actually American no wonder its rare in Bangladesh).He had somewhere to go,so I bid him farewell.

I can't resist quoting my favourite writer here.
"We spend money to travel the ocean, but people around us contain ocean in their hearts & we never realize."* -Humayun Ahmed

-Mourin

*This quote was originally in Bengali, I translated it so there might be some mistakes.(I'm terrible at translation) Humayun Ahmed is my favourite writer ever,and if you have the time you can check out the novel In Blissful Hell, its not more than 100 pages,and you will not regret reading it. This man can create magic within 100 pages.

People who run the country

In Dhaka,every morning you see thousands of women in the streets making their way to work. And with every step they take, Bangladesh takes a step towards becoming Bangladesh.

Bangladesh,with a very small amount of land & a LOADS of people,is one of the biggest clothing export country. Even with crappy political situation & filthy politicians ,what Bangladesh has achieved in these recent years is truly remarkable. And I must tell you no kind hearted politician is behind it. The people of Bangladesh are behind it.

I met a woman in the airport a few days ago when I was waiting for my flight. She is 30 something, unmarried , works in Oman as a maid. She has been working their for 2 years and only got one 2 months leave in these 2 years. She was looking for a certain airline and none of the staff was helping her. They were demanding money from here for no reason. There was contempt in their voice. She seemed really tensed. I have noticed this thing many times before. People who work in the middle east are often mistreated. Some obnoxious snobs think those people are good for nothing because they clean houses & works at the airport there. One thing they don't know,the remittance is what has kept the country running. They have sacrificed their families ,their homes just to ensure a better future for themselves, and a better future for their country. And the way they are treated is shameful. Same thing applies for garment workers. They are considered to be slaves and often disrespected. They might not be highly educated, but they are better than those educated ones who know how to rob the country and also be respected for it.

It is high time we realized who is running the country who and who is not. It is high time we gave respect to those who deserve it.

About Dust & Shadows

Why I named Dust & Shadows,Dust & Shadows?Well,I am into books.Like I am a book-worm.And I read this special line,quote whatever you say in The Infernal Devices by Cassandra Clare.

"Pulvis Et Umbra Sumus. We are dust & shadows."

Since then,it kind of got stuck in my head.It is just one line,that says it all.That we were created from dust & we will go back to it.Our existence,its nothing,if compared to the age of the universe.That one day we will return to our real form,and there will be no one to remember us,there will be no proof that we ever existed.I guess John Green can explain it better than me.

“There will come a time when all of us are dead. All of us. There will come a time when there are no human beings remaining to remember that anyone ever existed or that our species ever did anything. There will be no one left to remember Aristotle or Cleopatra, let alone you. Everything that we did and built and wrote and thought and discovered will be forgotten and all of this will have been for naught. Maybe that time is coming soon and maybe it is millions of years away, but even if we survive the collapse of our sun, we will not survive forever. There was time before organisms experienced consciousness, and there will be time after. And if the inevitability of human oblivion worries you, I encourage you to ignore it. God knows that’s what everyone else does.” 

"Dust & Shadows" represent what's inevitable.What will erase everything about us,everything we ever did & everything we knew.It represents our ultimate result.

And this blog is like a journal to me.What will remain even when I'm gone.A little part of me.A part of me that will endure. Even when there is no me.

-Mourin

Leaving The Nest

You know,during winter,lots of birds from foreign country come to our country.Bangladesh's winter is pleasant,not too cold,not too warm,sunny & beautiful(okay maybe I am biased).People of Dhaka go to Jahangirnogor,outskirts of the capital,to stare at the birds like weirdos,because that's where most birds gather.We are so amused by it that try to feed the birds,poke the birds,even try to catch one for our young.The birds go back to their country after Winter is over,because Spring in Bangladesh is oh-so-hot.While we enjoy oogling(random word my friend made up) at those birds,we never think about it deeply.

Birds like the place they live in no matter how crappy it is,I suppose.But sometimes,it is essential to leave.They travel thousand & thousand miles across the globe.And the journey is not easy.They get killed,sometimes get electrocuted,also get eaten by cats.But they still carry on.They still carry on toward uncertainty in search of a better life.I have heard people say its great to watch them go.That its sort of a strange bird-ey signal when all at once,the birds decide to leave.

I have been procrastinating this post for a few days because I don't want to..confront it.Confront that I'm leaving.Leaving everything behind.That I'm leaving the nest.

-Mourin

(I leave for United States on the 8th of August,in search of a new life.
Who knows what will I encounter?Maybe I'll get eaten by a cat. )

A Call From Home

Eid Mubarak!

It was Eid yesterday after one whole month of fasting & obviously I tried to compensate by eating LOADS of food & now I have a bad stomach.Well deserved,I guess.Eh,I don't mind though.Its EID!

I live in Dhaka,capital of Bangladesh.Most of the people who live in Dhaka they don't originally belong here(Including my parents,but I was born & brought up here).They are from different parts of the country,living in Dhaka to maintain their jobs.Because ours is a small country & you get the best education,job opportunities & medical stuff in Dhaka.Most people here are Muslim(Which I find very curious because in the British period,it was a hindu-dominant area).So when Eid comes,80% people leave Dhaka,to celebrate Eid with family in their ancestral village.And by family,I mean EVERYONE.Siblings of your parents,their cousins,their children,their cousin &..okay I am confused now.

Anyways,there is approximately 2 crore people living in Dhaka,which is like 20 millions,& I should tell you,Dhaka ain't got much land.So yeah,you can imagine the congestion & traffic when most of those 20 millions try to leave Dhaka in 2 days.Oh wait,if you don't live in Dhaka,you CANT.

Obviously,there is not enough seats on train,bus,launch or plane.Every year the government says " We have adequate transportation this year." Yeah,sure.

So people go CRAZY.They will sit on top of trains,bus & launches,hell they'd even sit on top of planes if they could,to celebrate Eid with their family,to reach HOME.

People die EVERY YEAR.Every freaking year.They don't even care.If you ask them why are they willing to take risks they'd be like "Its EID."Do I blame them?Unfortunately,this is a gray area for me.And guess what,I hate gray.I can't justify taking risks & dying but on the other hand,I know that you just can't resist the call from home.Where you grew up,the place which holds so many memories,so many moments that will never return.And Eid is supposed to be celebrated with family.Without family there is no 

significance of Eid. And as most of my cousins moved to the States,I feel it very very. ;-;(Mistake is intentional,yo)

So yeah,people take risks.They even die.Just to answer a call from Home.Maybe its stupid,but you know.

-Mourin!

                                                                                                                                                             

                                                                                      (Siting between train carriages like a BOSS) 

My Toddler Love

Lately I have been writing about all sirius(get the pun?) stuff so I thought a change might be nice..or probably I don't have anything else to write about atm,hehe.

So let me tell you about my toddler love.There was this boy who was in kindergarten with me,but he was a year older.The school we went to was fairly small,they had just started out,and both years of kindergarten sat in the same room but had different tables(we had one big circular table for each year).I liked him from my first day there & I'd always go sit beside him & my teachers had to bring me back everyday,lol. I don't remember much about him but he was cute & also very nice to me.

I remember one day I was in this supermarket with my parents and was thinking how nice it would had have been if he was there,and I turned the corner,and POOF!He was there,like legit.Coincidence?I think not.But it was really awkward though,we were just like "Oh Hi!What are you doing here?Oh you know,getting some shit.Okay,Bye"

But Alas!Our love story ended before it even started.I changed schools after one year.I even lost his phone number.Then one night,after a few months,he called.I was,SHOCKED.I told him I changed schools & everything.He said he did also & probably gonna move to United States..I dont remember,I mean it was 10 years ago!!I was 5 or 6.I lost his phone number btw,and couldn't contact him ever again.

I STILL dream about him sometimes.I tried searching him on Facebook,but heck I dont even remember his last name.If he is in the States,he is probably happy dating some white chick,idk.(No offense tho).

But he is my toddler love,so I'll remember him forever.

Cheers!

The Special Pieces Of Paper

Let me tell you a story.A long time ago there lived a species who were brilliant,they can think something unimaginable & make them come alive by their creativity.They didn't know magic,but their creativity can top any magic there was.But the species were controlled by special pieces of paper.They'd betray each other,even kill each other for the special paper.They'd invent new ways to harm their own kind for it.And all their creativity which could have been used to do something good,were used in inventing ways to kill each other.Even so,they'd call themselves the best.Sounds pathetic,doesn't it?Okay,so don't drown in self-pity now because I was talking about you.

Okay,sorry.Let me explain.

A couple of days ago,me and my two best friends invented a random game where one person asks the other two a question & the other two answer.The question can be anything,and the other two are obliged to answer.Anyways,during the game one of my friends asked us,What Is The One Thing You Would Change About The World?I answered immediately that I'd make food free.Seems logical,eh?Lots of people don't have anything to eat while we waste food,it just doesn't seem fair to me.My other friend,she went all witty & said "I'll make sure money is not an important thing".Now that I think about it,I think that's the thing that needs to be changed.

Even if we don't think about it much,money is the most influential thing in our lives.Starting from the moment we are born till we die,actually even AFTER we die,money decides for us(you know funeral & stuff).

Let me give you an example.Suppose,a child who belongs to a lower-middle class family will go to a public school where a child of a rich family will go to fancy private school it is kind of decided even before they are born.Even if,the poor kid is smarter & deserves better education.Another simple example,suppose a $100 outfit,while it is nothing for a wealthy person,for us middle class people it is just sigh-and-walk-away type of thing.Even if we don't want to believe it,our financial status indirectly influences EVERY decision of our lives.

Now if you are thinking I am a communist,stop now.My small brain don't understand these kind Y-so-serious stuff.I am just writing what I think.I mean,can we imagine a world without money?Without the difference of people because their financial statuses(without the rich kids showing off,I mean)?I don't know about you,but I can't.And it kind of makes me feel small.I mean we humans are the best of God's creations and we are controlled by a mere piece of paper.Many countries are putting more money into making weapons than education.What are these weapons for?They sell these weapons to other countries to make money.And what do the other countries do with it?They compromise their education budget & buy those weapons.To do what?To kill their own kind.Sounds pathetic,doesn't it?

-A mere teenager who doesn't understand the real world.

Everything That Stands On The Way

Okay,I want you to imagine something.An Indian village girl,barely 15,in a saree,siting beside a stove,cooking.The odd thing is,she has a chemistry book propped on her lap.Oh also,imagine it in black & white or else you would not know I am describing a scene from 1950s.

Seems unreal,doesnt it?
That girl is my grandmother.

Our culture teaches us to hold our elders in revere.I never talked about my grandma's early life with her.Never had the guts to ask her.I am writing from what my mum told me & how I have seen my grandma.

My grandmother got married when she was 14,like any other Indian girl during 1950.She could have been like any other woman,taking care of kids,doing household chores etc.But she chose to be different.She chose to continue her studies even after marriage.My grandfather,was a doctor & they had probably 15 years of age difference.In spite of the age difference,the culture,he encouraged my grandmother to continue her studies.But I do not know what her in-laws had to say about this.It might seem irrelevant to you now,but think from a 15 years old girl's prospective who was living with her in-laws.How much pressure she must have been in,how strong she had to be.But she continued pursuing her dreams,despite everything.She had her first child when she was 30,after 15 years of marriage.I am guessing she had some difficulties having a child beforehand.Again,can you guess how much taunting she had to go through?But it did not held her back,it just made her stronger & stronger.Because,she believed.

She believed in herself.

Sometimes,when I feel lost,I feel I am dreaming too much,that it is not achievable,I think about my grandma.We have it so easy compared to her.We don't have to finish chores & cooking before we can study.We don't have in-laws discouraging us.Then what stops us from pursuing our dreams?I realized,its us.We don't believe in ourselves enough,we don't push ourselves enough.We try to come up with new excuses for not working hard.But,we forget everyone has to fight their way up.There is no smooth road to success.We all have things that stand on the way.We just have to find a way around.Because a bump in the road in no excuse for not reaching your destination.We just have to believe in ourselves.

My grandmother retired a few years ago from the famous Victoria College,Comilla after years of teaching.

-Mourin

Life Does Not End Here

I don't know where to start.So I assume you have heard about the disaster?(No I am not talking about Palestine,I could not gather enough courage to write about that) I am talking about the Brazil-Germany semi-final.Germany beat Brazil by 7-1.I had been praying for Germany alright,but I am SURE I didn't pray for this.

Let me get this straight,I am not a Brazil supporter.And I was giving pretty evil laughs when the Germans scored goals after goals.But when the camera went towards the crying faces of Brazilian supporters,I could not help but feel sorry for them.Brazilian government spent BILLIONS of dollars for this world cup.All this from a country where the whole family uses just one dram of water,all this from a country where there is riot going on outside those gorgeous stadiums.People of Brazil must have thought,all these sacrifices would be forgotten when the world cup comes to Brazil.Unfortunately,the dream of winning the world cup 2014 is no longer achievable.When the Brazil vs Germany match was towards the end,the camera would turn from the field towards the crying faces of Brazilian supporters.And I could not help but place myself in their position.I know what it feels like,when your country loses,when the dream is so close but yet so far.I know what it feels like when Lumos become Nox.(Bangladesh vs Pakistan Asia Cup Final,2012,Bangladesh lost by 2 runs).

I know,Germany deserved to win,but Brazil did not deserve the humiliation,they did not deserve their dream to be shattered like this.However,it is Brazil we are talking about.Brazil WILL come back stronger,it always did.I can say.Here is to the people & supporters of Brazil,Never Stop Dreaming.As the defender of Columbia,Andres Escober once said,"Life doesn't end here"

-Mourin

P:S:Sorry I had some issues with my internet,so I could not post this earlier.

5 facts about me!

Well,you are probably wondering who is this random teenager going on about..random stuff.So I decided to write down some facts about myself.

5 facts about Me:
1.I am from Bangladesh.Surely you have some clothing which says "Made In Bangladesh",right?Another fact about Bangladesh,it has the most beautiful rain in the whole world.And while people curse the rain for causing 3 hour long traffic,they can't live without the rain.

2.I have two best friends & I constantly question their sanity.

3.I love maths,chocolates,sleep & Sherlock.And Oxygen.

4.Sometimes I think about why I am the person I am.It makes me feel very odd & I feel I dont belong in this..body?

5.I wanted to be a writer when I was a kid.Even now every now & then an idea will pop up,but I never had the patience to write it down


Cheers!
-Mourin

Curse of Germany

 And the semi finals start with a clash of Titans .Germany is the only team to reach the semi finals 4 times in a row. But unfortunately Germany didn't proceed to any finals after losing to Brazil in the 2002 world cup  finals. As it is said,history repeats itself. Germany and Brazil meet in semi finals again after 12 years. Will Germany be able to break the curse? I get a feeling it is the only way to break it,to end things the way it started. (Harry Potter, anyone?) Let's cross our fingers and see if Germans break their curse or Brazil continues their mission hexa.
My prayers are with you Germany.
Let me know who are you supporting tonight.

Cheers!
-Mourin

A wish to be heard

As I have mentioned before,I dont know the actual reason behind my sudden urge to start a blog. The only reasonable explanation is maybe I am just an insecure teenager crying for attention. However I dont fancy myself as an attention-seeking person. I am the kind who'd rather go unnoticed.But still it doesnt subdue my wish to be heard.I guess that's what this is about.A mere attempt to be heard.Maybe its nothing but a waste f time,but if my blog touches one soul,I will be more than happy. After all,we all want to be heard,dont we?

Cheers!

-Mourin

Stories to tell

Welcome to my blog.Honestly,I dont know what I seek to achieve by starting a blog,and there is high possibility that I will epic fail and never talk about my little fail,ever. But then again,if we think about the worst possible outcome of everything before we even trying it out,we will probably end up with no stories to tell our grandkids. So here I am,starting a blog,to talk about stuff that come to my little mind.


Cheers!
-Mourin